In the class this week we had discussed the different types of crises that could happen in a family and the products of them. There are many different types of stressors and other things that will put strains on any type of relationship. It could be communication, time, feelings, or beliefs that could put a dent into the dynamic. When there is not enough or adequate communication given between two people, the relationship that is held between the two is not going to improve and in some cases, drift apart. When a couple turns to other sources for comfort instead of their spouse, the relationship that is reinforced will be between the two who are having the conversation. It is also a type of backstabbing to the other in the relationship since their other decided to turn to someone else for help of a private problem between the two. This does go both ways for husband and wife, we often forget that it takes two to raise a functional family.
Events that can cause strains on a relationship will either add to a large pool of problems, or add to the lists of why the couple works. A concept we had discussed was that when a couple that goes through a specific stressor event, their response and use of resources along with how they thought about the event would create the complete experience. The outcome of the experience will impact the relationship between the two, and if they have one, their family. However private or intimate a couples relationship is, any action they take will impact their children and the rest of the family dynamic. While society now encourages selfishness and promotes the idea that if something takes time or is hard to deal with, then the relationship is not worth your effort. It is ironic how effort in a family is something that is desired when looking through the eyes of childhood, but when in the perspective of adulthood effort is something no one is willing to put forth.
Divorce. It is something that actually happens in real people’s lives. I have not personally experienced it, but it is something that I have seen in others lives. While it is good for people to feel loved, it is hard on the children that are affected. They may be treated differently by the other children or by their step-parent. My professor, who has had personal experience in the subject, has frequently expressed the strain that has occurred from it. Divorcing in the US is easy to do, and is encouraged by those who have never been in a successful relationship themself. When people spend more time together, that is where growth and understanding comes from. Media also romanticizes the so-called benefits of being friendly with your ex-spouse, as most children who see it between their own parents feel as if they were the main problem their parents split up. I want all people to know that they are not alone in their struggles and that there is someone that can help you.
Now what of parents who stay together only for their children? It sure is something that will differ for everyone. People are different and will experience the world differently because of their own way of thinking. Parents who are willing to stay together because of their children both are showing their selflessness to their children. While the children or an outsider may be a bit confused why the couple continues to stay together, it is something that the couple believes will be best for those that they love. While they may not show their love in many other ways, it is what they think will be best. If the children are actually uncomfortable, then it should become a whole family discussion. However, it is up to the parents to make that decision for themselves.
The youth are the future of the world. When we find value in a loving family, we can find peace in our own homes.
Until next week!
-Grace Coria
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