This is the last week of classes and time has honestly flown by. This will be my last consistent blog post about family relations and what I have learned from taking this class. Overall, there are so many benefits to the family and things that are not explored as often as they should. A topic so normalized by society yet rarely talked about in a specific way is divorce. While a happy marriage is something that is desired by all, divorce is still part of the world we live in.
In my class, we had previously discussed how marital satisfaction drops for the typical US couple when a specific thing is introduced. By the time the first child is born, marriage satisfaction decreases and decreases again once there is a birth of a second child. So the question is, do children ruin a marriage? The answer is no. Children do not ruin a marriage, it is the own couples inability to work together and their own pride which will not be compromised. Now with the first and second child born, it will be much harder since the family is changing with new additions, which means there will be new roles for people to play. We cannot expect a duet when there are different types of voices that are not made for the song given. The data actually shows that after the third child is born, the marriage satisfaction rates will increase gradually as the parents are not so new at being parents and have had practice. The data also shows that marital satisfaction will also increase once children begin to leave the home.
In the Western world, the data shows that marriage rates are at an all time low. Not only are marriage rates low but fertility rates are as well. With such a “population boom” of older people and not younger people, the world will not be able to function as it has been for the past few years. The only exception to this trend is when the world enters war or famine. People now have a higher fear of marriage even with all of the technology, jobs, and resources available to people today.
While divorce rates may seem at an all-time high, the actual data shows that in the U.S. the rates are much lower than 50% lying at around 24%. Just because getting a divorce is so normalized, it does not mean it is healthy or a good thing that should be happening. Of the people who do divorce their spouse, approximately 70% of those couples two years after their divorce feel as if they could have and should have saved their marriage. A lot of people who get married now get divorced because they realize that marriage is not as fun as originally predetermined. Marriage is about sacrifices, mistakes, understanding, and being a good person. People who get divorced quickly come to the understanding that the only reason their marriage failed is because they failed as a partner.
Of the males who do get divorced, about 70% of them get remarried in the timeframe of about two years. Most people might say that it is because he is looking for physical desire, and while that might be an added factor, chances are he feels lonely. When someone you have loved is suddenly taken away after you have learned what it is like to feel needed, you would want to be with someone who loves you too. People who get divorced are more likely to get divorced a second time. When it comes down to it, divorcees are usually not the best parents. They could be good parents, but when it comes to what a child needs, the divorcee put their own needs before their own child, and leaving a parent out of their lives.
Divorce is something that cannot be avoided sometimes, due to abuse, neglect, or even pain. If everyone were to act a little less selfishly and more self-less, it would be much easier on everyone around them.
The youth are the future of the world. When we find value in a loving family, we can find peace in our own homes.
Until next time!
-Grace Coria
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