I know a lot of people who have strained relationships with their parents. Chances are the parents did not know what they were doing, or were not prepared for the responsibilities needed to be a parent. Currently, a lot of people choose not to have children based on the idea that ‘they are not ready for kids’ or ‘I will not be a good parent’ as an excuse to hide behind. In reality, no one is ready to raise a human child; no one is prepared to be a good parent. Even if we had all the time in the world to study on how to raise a child perfectly, it is an ideal that can never be achieved. There are too many unknowns and so many different experiences of raising a child. While we should provide a child the best environment to live in, it will never be perfect.
Relationships are hard to create and even harder to continue to cultivate. People have thousands of differences and experiences so of course it will be difficult to have a child. Many times, parents will make actions based on what they believe to be best for their children. These actions are not always the best for the children of the present and many children do not realize what their parents were trying to accomplish. A lot of these problems could be solved if the parents and their children discussed their feelings and plans while respecting the others' ideas. When people feel respected and valued, they become more trusting and willing to work with those they have relationships with.
Social class also has a lot to do with the relationships the parents have with their children. Most parenting techniques are learned behaviors that parents partake in are taught by their own parents. Humans are social creatures and like to do what others around them do. They talk to their neighbors, or friends, for advice on parenting, and will do what others around them have done. We like to mimic what we have seen before and are willing to do what has been done to us because we do not know differently. Once we are able to break the chains of tradition and of societal norms, we are free from the past.
A question we should also consider is “Are all cultures equally valid; do they all meet the same purposes with the same effectiveness?” The use and meaning of the word ‘valid’ has changed across the internet over the past decade. The definition people like to focus on now is “legally or officially acceptable”. While all cultures have good aspects to them, there are some traditions that should be reconsidered. For example, in past cultures, people would kill their firstborn if they were not male. While this has been done away with in western society, that part of the culture became no longer acceptable to people here today. All cultures should be respected and should have time taken to fully understand them. However, when cultures begin to harm another human or see others as inferior, that is when we should call to rethink tradition in favor of a new change. Tradition is a good thing, but being stuck looking through lenses crafted by older, less understanding generations, can become harmful if we hold on too tight to the things that have shaped what we do, rather than shape who we are.
I may be a bit blunt about this, but we ALL want to be loved. We all want to share our lives with others, we want to be noticed. That is just human nature, even as I write this, I am trying to be noticed, be accepted by society. These desires become easier to satisfy with a healthy, constant family dynamic. Our traditions, cultures and beliefs are products of the family system that we grew up in.
The youth are the future of the world. When we find value in a loving family, we can find peace in our own homes.
Until next week!
-Grace Coria
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